Scylla and Charybdis (His)

I’ve seen a lot in my life

And of late I think I am going mad

 

I thought it was all gonna be a joke

That I would close my eyes and it would all disappear,

But now I have just realised

What a fool I have been

All this while thinking of something

And never letting you know

So I planned to tell you tonight

That’s why I called us a date

And as you walked in I thought

That I was gonna lose my mind –

That is, if I already hadn’t…

 

I pulled your chair and you sat

And I sat – across the table

Your glassy eyes stared at me

In that special way you’d always do

When thinking or trying to figure out something…

Then we ate – and boy don’t you eat!

And as we ate we made small talk

How your day had been

And how mind had been

Then you smiled big

And as you always do – did

Waited for me to ask why

And when I did – Oh God!

I didn’t know what happened

I don’t know if you noticed

But my eyes – they faltered

And stared at you still…

 

You asked if I had plans

And I gave a couple of vague statements.

 

We went back to the flat

And I forlonly went to bed…

I guess it hit you later

That I hadn’t ordered takeout

But had taken you out

And I was all dressed up

‘Cause that’s when you woke up, and damn!

Why do you always have to be so considerate?

I heard you tiptoe out of your room

And I heard you pause at my door

Then you went to the living room

Straight to the rack, and frisked my coat –

 

I guess you felt it, because you gasped

And yes, I was watching you.

I watched you extract it

Your delicate fingers trembling

I heard your gasp

Then a sob catch in your throat…

If sense had prevailed,

I would have gone  back to bed

But hearing you sob

Brought me to your side.

We held each other

And there we found solace

Until your phone rang, and

You jumped – guiltily.

Everything then was a blur, and

Afterwards, if I can remember

You tried to explain

That you had waited

For a hint. a sign, a clue

And had finally gotten impatient

And searched elsewhere.

 

Well, I’ll have you know

That I had always been scared

Of what might have happened,

But as they say, the greatest pain

Is not to love and be rejected

But to lose your love

Without them ever knowing.

 

So I guess now you know

But I have still lost you

And I’m not sure I wanna move on.

 

CTS 14.10.09

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