Category Archives: Depression

Let Me

Where is the child within you,

I would like to know

Where you have buried him

He that would sit and watch paint dry…

 

I look at you today

And wonder is all I feel.

You have evolved

(positively or negatively, I do not know)

But now you are this person

Who is too busy to see

The little butterfly carefully perched

Atop a flower, on a delicate stalk.

 

Where is the carefree you,

The one who threw all care to the wind,

The one who left Gucci and Versace

By the riverbank to dive in for fun…

The one who had all the potential in the world

To stop in the middle of a marathon

And swirl and twirl with no care at all…

 

You were the one who forever brought me joy

You were the one who made me happy

You were the one who taught me fun

You were the one whose smile brightened my day…

 

Now we sit across the room from each other

And you stare into space –

The laughter lines around your eyes

Are slowly turning into worry wrinkles.

Something is eating at you

Something that works worse than wormwood…

 

I would, just for this once

Love to reciprocate all that you’ve done for me, so

Let me take you and give you joy

Let me re-teach you what you taught me

That life is short and we have no time

That we should take this time to enjoy each other…

 

Let us take beautiful walks in the garden

And take our time to stoop low –

Just low enough for our noses to touch the roses

And have the pollen stuck on our noses

(you liked that, do you still?)

Let us blow bubbles and watch them soar

Up, up, up…. until they POP!

Watch the wonder on the butterfly’s face

Seeing this spherical object in its domain…

Let us lay on the grass

Watching clouds drift and pass,

making all these shapes and patterns…

Let us run in the rain without a care

Like the way a dog runs after a hare

Then afterwards we will fix our hairs –

Or should I say you shall fix mine?

 

All in all, what I am trying to say

With all these many words on limited paper

Is that seeing you happy contributes largely

To my joy and happiness and feeling of well-being.

I want you to be happy

To overcome whatever is bothering you

Because we share much much more

Than just physical belongings.

Do it not for my sake.

Do it not for our sake.

Do it for your own sake,

Then my sake will have been catered for.

 

CTS 13.04.2010

Advertisements

Here’s to the Invisibles…

It’s cold outside…..

Everyone can see it’s been raining….

Everyone has something to say about the weather…..

Something good, something bad, a complaint, an appreciation…..

 

The windows still have dripping rivulets…..

 

On the window box in one of the ordinary houses along the streets

Sits a lone soul, a solitary soul

That has been watching the rain fall, drop by drop

As it formed little streams along the street…..

Drawing parallels to the many other little drops it hides

This here lonely soul, craving affection

Comparing the flowing streams in the streets

With those flowing down its face…….

 

The ordinary people living in the street come out, finally

And the little lonely soul watches,

Watches as the children play in the puddles……

As the boys whip out their boards……..

As the girls sit in groups and gossip…….

As the adults sit in the porches and relax……..

Another tear, this time big and heavy, rolls out…..

And splashes on the attic’s worn wooden rocker

Paving way for more….

And more……..

 

And more……..

 

This little lonely soul,

Clinging to what once was…..

When it was visible, alive…..

Hoping to be seen…..

Recognized…..

Maybe loved……

To mingle……

To feel the rain, the sun, the snow…..

To smell the rain, taste it

In the company of another…..

To join the rest…..

 

To stop being lonely….

Invisible……

 

*CREEEAK*

Yes little soul…..

That’s the attic door…..

Another child walks in, a little boy….

The soul leaps……

Happy……

Anticipating…..

 

……*wave*…..

……*harder wave*……..

……*frantic wave*……..

……*sad sigh*……..

…….*resignation to fate*……

 

“I’m always gonna be invisible….

Nobody sees me…..

Nobody understands me…….”

 

What the whole world doesn’t see and understand

Is that this very invisibility

This loneliness…..

 

was the reason this little soul

stopped being a little boy…..

 

Life was taking too much

So he took his…..

 

……and now, it was exacting its revenge.

CTS 2010